I’m a perfectionist. I think that is part of the reason I haven’t written in a while. The more and more I thought about perfectionism, the less and less I wanted to write. It’s a little self-defeating. The more and more I look back, the more and more I realize that I am somewhat of a perfectionist. I will say that I am not a perfectionist because I am trying to please others, I am a perfectionist because my name is behind it. As far back as I can remember, if something was not done the way I deemed fit, I would not turn it in. I would not present it, I would not do it. I feel that if my name is behind it, it has to follow my standards. Not perfect, just what I think is great. I realize that no one is perfect. Period. I think that my issue with perfectionism ties to my issue with quitting somehow. The question is why?
A good friend of mine asked why I haven’t blogged in a while, and this is the reason. I don’t want my blog to become a big complaint. Had I written the articles I was planning to write in the past month, they all would have consisted of complaints, and selfishness; not reflection and analysis of myself and discovery. This is no excuse however. In hindsight, posting those articles probably would have given more perspective to my readers of where I am coming from. I will post them eventually, however now is not that time.
I have said it before, and I will say it again. I am my own worst enemy. I believe I just found the root of my quitting issues. Perfectionism. I have to stop analyzing myself and the things I do so critically.
I believe I am making some great headway. I’m just glad that I found the root of the problem. Perfectionism.
–Far From Idle